In the competitive world of business, self-criticism can be a significant barrier to success. According to a Yale psychologist Emma Seppala, while many individuals possess extraordinary qualities, only a select few go on to lead truly exceptional professional lives.
The key differentiator? A healthy relationship with oneself. In contrast, many professionals struggle with toxic self-criticism, which can impede their progress.
Identifying and replacing negative self-talk is crucial for business leaders and professionals aiming to reach their highest potential.
Stop Saying These 5 Toxic Phrases and Watch Your Success Soar:
1. “I’m Not Good Enough for Success”
This pervasive thought often runs like a background program in many minds, particularly in high-pressure business environments. The brain’s negativity bias causes individuals to focus more on negative experiences than positive ones. This explains why a single piece of criticism can overshadow numerous compliments, affecting performance and success. Believing one is not good enough is not only destructive but also linked to increased anxiety and depression.
What to Try Instead:
Ask, “What’s good for me right now?” Whether it’s taking a break, eating a meal, or going for a walk, addressing immediate needs can improve mood and resilience. Research shows that practicing self-compassion makes individuals feel more energetic, alive, and optimistic. This renewed energy can lead to better decision-making and increased productivity in the workplace.
2. “I’ll Never Be Able to Be Successful. Why Bother?”
This phrase is not just demoralizing; it’s scientifically incorrect. Neuroscience has proven that the brain is malleable and capable of change throughout life, a concept known as neuroplasticity. Professionals can pivot careers at 50 or start mastering a new business skill at any age. With practice, improvement is achievable in almost any area.
What to Try Instead:
Replace this thought with, “I need more practice.” Reflect on business skills currently done effortlessly, such as leading meetings, managing projects, or networking. Recall how difficult these tasks were when first attempted. Success comes with persistence, and the same applies to any new business skill being learned today.
3. “I’m Such a Failure”
Equating a temporary setback with a permanent identity is damaging. Failing at something doesn’t mean being a failure. In business, setbacks are often necessary stepping stones to success, providing valuable learning experiences.
What to Try Instead:
Adopt the mindset, “I’ve learned a lot.” Business experiences, both good and bad, contribute to professional growth and wisdom. Embrace failures as opportunities to learn and improve, turning them into strategic advantages.
4. “I Can’t Believe I Did That, I Am So Stupid”
Calling oneself stupid is harmful and inaccurate, particularly in a professional setting. Learning involves making mistakes, whether a novice or an expert. Studies show that mistakes made during the learning process can enhance understanding. Just as toddlers fall while learning to walk, making mistakes is a natural part of professional growth.
What to Try Instead:
Offer the same encouragement given to a new employee learning the ropes. Remember that “nobody’s perfect” and “everyone makes mistakes.” Understand that self-judgment is often harsher than that of others. Take a deep breath, forgive oneself, and move forward, fostering a culture of growth and continuous improvement.
5. “I’m Not as Good as Them”
Comparing oneself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy because everyone is unique. In a business environment, this can be particularly counterproductive. It’s an unfair comparison since no one can measure up perfectly to someone else’s strengths.
What to Try Instead:
Focus on unique professional qualities. Perhaps not the funniest or the most innovative, but everyone has attributes that others value. For example, excellent problem-solving skills or the ability to foster strong client relationships can be invaluable.
Consider an exercise called the Reflected Best Self, where colleagues and business associates are asked what they most appreciate. This feedback often highlights consistent strengths and boosts resilience and self-belief. Realizing contributions to the team or organization can enhance understanding of value and capabilities.
Also read: Netflix Co-Founder Reveals the 8 Success Rules From His Dad
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